Forgive Me
by KtSp89
Summary: AU Season 3 Tommy returns only to find out the people he left are not the same. Can he get the girl that he wants? Will she ever trust him again.
1. Chapter 1

AU of Season 3: Tommy comes back from helping bring back Darris's daughter only to find out the people he left behind changed. Can he get the girl he wants now. Will she ever trust him again?

Please try and be kind. This is my first fan-fiction.

I do not own any of the Characters or Instant Star.

I walked into G major and looked around. Everyone was acting as if nothing had changed. That he didn't leave, that at any moment he could walk through those doors and everything would be okay. Liam had left something about going to find himself… Something Jamie said.

"Whitney Huston we have a problem"

"Sadie what are you talking about"

Oh God... pictures from that night, the worst night. How he could just leave, we were supposed to... I am not even sure.

"Sadie what is I supposed to do, how I am, I don't know what to do."

"We will figure out Jude don't worry"

I am walking through the studio when my phone rings. The screen lights up with a name I thought I would never see. _Tommy._

Why should I answer this after the 100 some messages I left why, why does he want to talk now. My heart was saying _answer it answer it_. However, my head it knew that if I did I was stupid. He left, he didn't care, and he never actually cared.

By the time I get make a decision the ringing had stopped.

I needed to get out of here, it was all too much, and everything was just too much. All the Instar Star publicity, the pictures, Tommy, I just couldn't stand it anymore.

I knocked on the door and a low voice said "Open"

"D. can I take the afternoon off maybe tomorrow I just I need to get away. I can't..."

"Jude. You need to get ready for the Instant Star finale"

"D. I will just not here, I can't be here everything it's just…"

"Jude, is there something wrong like really wrong, other than Tommy leaving"

"I just... here... "I handed the pictures over to Darris, "D. I... I was just so upset and... I'm so sorry..." Tear were down gliding down Jude's face at a rapid pace.

"I'll take care of this"

"D. but,"

"Jude I'll take care of this, you are part of the family, at G major we keep the family together. Take the few days but, you must be at the finale you hear me."

"I got you D. Thank you."

"Now go superstar. Go write a song that make your 3rd album double or better yet triple platinum."

Walking through G major I felt numb, I was starting to get used to it, Once Tommy left I felt something in me change, harden maybe. I just want to get this album done, over then Gmajor is history, Tommy history, all the memories I can forget and move on. I needed to move on from this place though it has given me my dream it has given me so many heartbreaks.

As I walk by the front desk I tell Sadie that I am going home. I decide that home that is not a place I want to be either. I need a place where I can think. Really think.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to everyone who had took time to read this i really appreciate it.

I hope you all enjoy.

I don't not own Instant Star.

Kwest is sitting in the booth getting ready to help record Karma, when his phone rings. "Hello"

"Kwest man"

"What do you want T. "

"Well that's a warm welcome"

"Don't start with me okay, you up and left, didn't tell anyone, destroyed a girl"

"What?!"

"Don't play stupid T. No one can find her. It's been three days and we have looked everywhere. Sadie is freaking out. D. is about to send out a search party she is supposed to sing tonight."

"What are you talking about "

"Jude you idiot, Jude"

"No one can find her." Panic started to creep into Tommy's chest is heart felt like someone was squeezing it and was never gonna let go. "I'll be home soon I just had to deal with stuff"

"Whatever man things will never change" Kwest quickly hung up the phone and shook his head. His once best-friend was very self-involved.

"Sadie my office ... NOW"

"What do you need D."

"Have you heard anything?"

"No... D. look it's been almost three days, all the note said was that she needed to get away. That she would be back before tonight"

"She better show up tonight if she knows what is good for her."

"Darris this is Jude we are talking about she will be there you know it"

"The pictures are taken care of by the way. We won't have a problem."

"I bet she will be happy to hear that"

Soft melody plays in the background as a voice chimes out.

_A familiar sound,_

_A familiar voice,_

_Makes it so hard,_

_To make a choice,_

_I don't know if I should stay,_

Jude is sitting here playing the piano she did on her 17th birthday. The Chrome Cat the only place she knew people wouldn't come look for her. She needed this, only time. Getting all of the emotions out, that was the only way she was going to save herself. She had not slept or really had anything to eat the past three days. The first day she sat on the red couch and cried. Then the past two she had been perfecting this song. It was her goodbye, her goodbye to Tommy, her old self. She was a real artist now, a professional, and she was about to be treated like one.

Jude knew she had to leave soon. She had a performance to get to, knowing Portia she needed to get there early so she could have her makeup and hair ready.

Jude walked to her car. She had hidden it in an ally way that way no one would know exactly where she was.

Jude went home first to take a shower and grab something to eat. He stomach felt that it was about to eat itself. Jude entered her home to find no one, there. Jude sighed relieved that she had a few moments of silence left.

Jude entered the backstage area where everyone was running around trying to get things ready for tonight

"Speid, can you play this for me tonight"

"JUDE!" Where have you been? At the mention of Jude's name the backstage area seemed to freeze in time. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Jude.

Sadie and Portia ran over. "Where have you been?" "Are you okay?" asking a million questions so fast Jude's head was spinning.

"Everyone just hold up I am here right! So not questions I am fine. Let's just get me ready so I can get this over with."" Speid, you okay to play that."

"Yeah Dude, No problem. New Song?"

"Yeah... Yeah it is."

Speid gave Jude a hug a walked off.

"Sadie we will talk about it later okay I just need to get ready."

"Jude Harrison I swear I was worried sick about you."

"I know I am sorry I am fine I promise."

Jude was walking around backstage, putting the finishing touches on her makeup when the back stage door opened. I could feel him even before I looked up.

"Tommy" Jude breathed out as their eyes locked on each other.

Tommy was about to say something when Jude effortlessly turned around and walked away.

"Wait Jude" Tommy was staring at Jude's retreating form with the look of hurt and confusion in his eyes. He had seen it, when their eyes locked the feelings of hurt, anger, joy, and something he could quite place all swilling together in her eyes.

"I see you brought the special package" said Portia

Tommy was brought back to reality as Portia picked up her niece and Tommy turned around to pay attention to the little girl he brought back to her Dad.

Jude was in her dressing room trying to calm herself down.

"I see it is time for the Jude meltdown. Darris is gonna be so mad"

"Just shut up Jamie."

"Come on Jude, You saying you don't wanna perform"

"He's back... and I …"

"Oh God Tommy come on Jude the guy is a jerk, stop letting him do this. Stop letting him ruin you."

"What you hate me to don't you"

"NO Jude, Jamie grabs Jude and pulls her into a massive hug. "I love you… I love you"

"I can't…"

"Grow up Jude, it is time to grow up be a grownup"

Jamie walks out of the room and Jude is left staring at herself in the mirror. The last words Jamie said ringing through her _hear it is time to grow up be a grownup_"

"Welcome the original Instant Star JUDIE HARRISON"

Hello everyone, I have a new song for you, I hope you like it.

_Where's my will,_

_Can I find a way?_

_The earth is wild,_

_And I can't sit still,_

_A familiar sound,_

_A familiar voice,_

_Makes it so hard,_

_To make a choice,_

_I don't know if I should stay,_

Tommy was watching from the side stage. He never heard anything like this from Jude. Actually he never heard this song. He wondered if she had written it while he was away. Thoughts were running through his head. What caused her to write this? Where was she? Is she okay? Tommy knew that he was going to have to talk to her after the show.

_A thousand stars,_

_You will have my word,_

_I'm bright enough,_

_To fill these cracks,_

_A familiar place,_

_A familiar voice,_

_Makes it so hard._

_To make a choice,_

_I don't know if I should stay,_

_I ran to you like water_

_I threw my body in_

_And I'll stand up on the ocean_

_Just to show you that I am strong, strong_

_But what if I am wrong_

_A familiar look_

_A familiar smile_

_Makes it so hard_

_To make a choice_

_I don't know if I should stay away_

Jude was backstage packing up her things. Darris walked in.

"There's my superstar, that song was amazing girl it needs to be recorded."

"Darris I am a pro now and I want to be treated like one. I want to be my own producer."

Darris stood there shocked. "Jude. What are you saying?"

"I think it is time D. I need to have my own voice, my own choice, create my own destiny. I am going to post those pictures on my website. I am not perfect and my fan deserve to know that. I just like them make mistakes."

"Jude... I don't…"

"No D. This is what is happening and you are going to be okay with it." Jude then walked out of the building and went on her way home.

The winner had been announced it was Karma the building was in an uproar of applause. However, there was one man searching for a face. A face he had etched in his brain, a blonde, bright eyed, talented musician who he missed dearly.

"Come on girly we need to find my friend while your daddy works." The little girl giggled as Tommy picked her up in search of his friend. Tommy wasn't really paying attention to where he was going when he bumped into a beautiful blonde. Without even looking Tommy knew, he just knew_, not Jude_.

"Sadie, Hey! Giving her a slight hug. Where is.. "

"Don't even go there Tom, I don't know and I don't want you near her. Do you know what you did? How messed up that is?."

"I know, I know I just I need to explain I mean I couldn't…" Tommy was stuttering through the sentence not really sure what to say to get Sadie's icy glare away from him.

" No you have no idea… Weeks Tommy.. You were gone weeks six to be exact and within those six weeks we all have changed."

"What do you mean changed"

"Just stay away from my sister."

"Since when do you care what happens to her anyways" Tommy yelled as Sadie was walking away.

"Gosh I need to find Kwest, hopefully he will tell me what is going on." Crap the show is over, I need to give D. his "package".


	3. Chapter 3

It was early in the morning and Jude didn't want to wake up. But, she knew she needed too. Erg. Darris and his early meetings.

It was 8:25 in the morning as Jude walked through the doors of Gmajor. Jude though hated waking up early loved this time at work. Not many people were around and there was an eerie calm placed over the whole area.

Jude knew that most of the people were probably already in the conference room. Jude silently walked in trying not alarm anyone to her presence. The conference room was noisy to say the least. Everyone was talking about Karma the new winner and variety of the office gossip.

I took a seat in the back corner near Jamie.

"Hey" Jamie whispered.

"Hi"

"You were amazing out there last night. I loved the new song."

" Thanks Jamie"

Jamie could tell something was off, "Jude listen about what I said.."

Jude cut him off.." No, stop right there was you were right"

"Wait What?! Mark the calendars people Jude just admitted.."

A few people around the two looked at them with a questioning glance.

"Shut it Jamie" "But I do need to learn to act like an adult. I turn eighteen in two weeks. If I want to be respected as an artist here then I really need to learn how to be a grownup. I want my music to go in a different direction, one that allows the fans to see the real me and if I want that to happen they (Jude uses her hand to show Jamie the people in the room they are currently in the room) need to respect her."

"Wow Jude.. talking like an adult already."

A small smirk came across Jude's face as Darris walked in the room.

"Alright everyone let's give a warm welcome to Karma for joining the Gmajor family."

Everyone was clasping and suddenly the doors busted open "Sorry, I am late D. Traffic" Tommy looked like hell. Sunglasses still on his face, more than likely to hide the dark circles that were under his eyes.

"Everyone welcome back Tommy" Slight claps rang throughout the room

Tommy sat down in his normal seat, and laughed to himself. The seat Jude normally held was empty too. "Must not be the only one late. At least Harrison's lateness is the same." He thought to himself.

The meeting went on as it continued Tommy started to get worried that Jude hadn't turn up yet.

"Alright everyone press conference is in a 2 hours let's go make some money and make some hits."

Everyone was filling out of the room and that's when he felt it. He felt her. His heart started to beat faster as his breath hitched. He knew it was her. He franticly looked around the room as the blonde girl he had wanted to talk to left the room.

"D. what the hell is going on." Tommy slightly yelled after everyone had left.

"What are you talking about T."

"Jude why.."

"T. I need to tell you… she … she asked that you not be her producer anymore."

"WHAT!?

Tommy stormed out of the conference room on the look for a certain Harrison. He didn't pay attention to the people who stared as he ran directly to where he knew she would be. Studio A.

"JUDE WHAT THE HELL" as he slammed the door to studio A closed.

Jude had jumped and was now clutching her chest as her heart was beating rapidly. "Quincy are you trying to kill me"

"WHAT IS THIS TALK ABOUT I AM NOT YOUR PRODUCER."

"If you stop screaming maybe you will find out" Jude said with a forceful voice.

Tommy was flabbergasted; he had never seen Jude like this. Her eyes held no emotion, it was a blank expression, and her voice wasn't wavering at all. Tommy just stood there staring at Jude.

"Tommy I am not going to get pulled into a fight. I needed a change and Darris agreed to what I want. It was time I take control. Now please excuse me I need to get recording."

Jude started to walk around the booth getting things ready to record. Tommy started to walk out of the room with the look of confusion on his face. Not paying attention to where he was going he went into studio B to clear his mind and set-up for Karma.

"What's got you so confused man?" asked Kwest

"Jude I mean.. she just.. blank eyed, she doesn't engage what is going on."

"You left, without a word for six weeks T. the girl is bound to not want to be around you." With that Kwest walked out of the studio.

* * *

"Okay Jude sing it one more time, more power,"

"Wait Kwest…

Just then Tommy walked in "Jude I heard" "Kwest what is this"

"Oh this is not good" Jude said under her breath she walked out of the studio to go to the booth.

"YOURE PRODUCING HER…HAS DARRIS LOST HIS MIND… I TAUGHT YOU EVERYTHING…YOU TOOK HER.. SHE IS MINE KWEST..

"I am not anyone's" "Now Quincy I needed a change I wanted to move forward… and Kwest is not my producer"

"Wait what"

At this point not wanting to get caught up in the normal Tommy Jude drama Kwest backed out of the booth to hospitality to get lunch.

"He is my Co-producer"

"WHAT" "Jude you cannot be serious come on it has always been me and you. We are an unstoppable team."

"Tommy I need someone to do this with me that I can trust. I don't know if I can trust you"

"What" Tommy said in a soft hurt voice.

"Tommy I told you I don't want to fight. I have to get to the press conference. I hope you enjoy working with Karma and thank you for helping make two great albums that I am proud of." With that Jude walked out of the booth. While passing hospitality "Hey Kwest sorry for the interruption earlier but, I have that press conference so you want to finish later"

"Yeah sure Jude"

* * *

"I can't believe she said you're not a Virgin " said Speid. SME and Jude were hanging out in Studio before they were about to go record Jude's new song.

"It's no one's business what I have or haven't done." Replied Jude.

"What is with you dude, shouldn't you be on your regular freak out."

" Things are different now, I need to grow up, get past my past, learn from it, be an adult. In less than two weeks I am going to be 18. I just figured I better start acting like it."

"Wow, Saint Jude"

"Shut Up Kyle." Jude proceeded to throw drum sticks at everyone.

" But I gotta say that Karma has an ass that I would kiss"

"SPIED"

"Yes, Saint Jude"

"Let's just go record"

"All hail the mighty producer" said Wally

" You know it" Jude said as a smile spread across her face."

* * *

It was late at night, Jude had come back after leaving this afternoon to clear her head. She had a song stuck in her head and she need to record it.

"You sure it's okay I'm here"

"Jamie it's fine believe me. This time I am the producer, well kind of. I just need to get this out right now."

Tommy had been in his office when he heard voices and went to investigate hoping it wasn't some punk kids from the neighborhood trying to steal something. Then he heard her voice. The voice that had confused and pained him earlier in the day.

The door to Studio A was cracked and a light was glaring through the lobby. Tommy went up to the door and stood in the darkness listening to the conversation.

"So how was it when he found out?"

"I'm not sure he was mad, screaming then silent. So, I think he was feeling all emotions at once. I think he is confused doesn't understand why I am doing what I am doing."

"Why are you doing this. You know your music is better with him."

"Why Jamie Andrews are you sick"

Tommy didn't know what to think Andrews just gave him a compliment. He was beginning to believe that in the 6 weeks that he was gone G-major had turned upside down.

"But you're right my music is better, but I can't trust him Jamie, I can't let him keep doing this to me. I become a mess every time. I am always the one that gets hurt.

"Jude.."

"No it's okay trying to hold back the tears.. I just I guess I took your advice I grew up and realized he never really cared. I mean I thought he did. But, how can you continue to hurt someone that you care about and not feel bad."

Tommy stood there silent with his heart beating fast. "She thinks I don't care, don't care… is she crazy, of course I care I Lo…. Quincy don't even think that he told himself." Off Limits remember.

But then that night came to his mind. They had just shown Darris _White Lines_ they were both so excited that Darris loved it. Then it happened… _That Kiss…._he didn't want to stop. She was the one to pull away. Tommy remember seeing Jude walk away and looking at her retreating form with his heart in his stomach and this electrifying feeling consuming his body where her hands that been.

_I've been walking through the ruins_

_Of my life and times_

_Seems like everything is sinking_

_Right in front of my eyes_

_I've been asking all the questions_

_But nothing's coming back_

_Now I'm trying to keep myself from_

_Slipping through the cracks_

_Where is my faith_

_How did I get this far_

_Who do I blame_

_When it all falls apart_

_Maybe the moon's just a whole in the sky_

_One day at a time my world is shattering_

_Maybe the answers to never ask why_

_As I watch my life unravelling_

_Unravelling_

_I don't know who to turn to_

_And I wonder who's a friend_

_Out of everyone I trusted_

_To be there to the end_

_I'm running out of reasons_

_For putting up a fight_

_Now I am trying to keep myself from _

_slipping through the cracks._

_Where is my faith_

_How did I get this far_

_Who do I blame?_

_When it all falls apart?_

_Maybe the moon's just a hole in the sky_

_One day at a time, my world is shattering_

_Maybe the answer is to never ask why_

_As I watch my life unraveling, unraveling_

_Maybe the moon's just a hole in the sky_

_One day at a time, my world is shattering_

_Maybe the answer is to never ask why_

_As I watch my life unraveling_

_As I watch my life unraveling, unraveling_

_Maybe the moon's just a hole in the sky_

_One day at a time, my world is shattering_

_Maybe the answer is to never ask why_

_As I watch my life unraveling_

_As I watch my life unraveling, unraveling_

_Unraveling_

**Tommy had to admit that the song was fantastic. She really had grown up from the 15 year old girl that he first met. **

**" **So Press conference today"

"Like I told Speid and the guys what I haven't or have done is no one's business but, mine. But, seriously you know the answer to that question you are thinking."

**The interesting things of Jude. I wanna kill whoever touched her that way. NO one but… Stop it Quincy stop thinking this way. **

"We better get going Jude before Sadie realizes you are not at home."

" Jamie I told you she is out with Kwest it's fine."

**Out with Kwest.. What? Tommy was confused. **

"If she realizes your gone through… Jude last time we were all worried. No one knew where you were.. You didn't go to Mason this time.

**What are they talking about.. I mean I know just before I got here she was nowhere to be found, but there was another time with Mason **

"Jude where did you go"

"Jamie It was just somewhere I needed to be. I left you a note and Darris knew I was okay I checked in with him almost daily. He was the one that kept Sadie informed."

"Jude we were all worried sick"

"Jamie I needed to get away, I couldn't take it.. I had to get over it… over him.. over the situation… the incident… it all. If I would have stayed home Sadie would want to know what happened, and I couldn't tell anyone because I was stupid.

"Jude what are you talking about."

" Jamie he kissed me, or we kissed, I don't know how it happened. We just finished White Lines and in all the excitement it just happened and I felt this change or at least I thought it was. But, I was a naïve little girl. It didn't mean anything to him, I needed to get over it, over all of it in the past two year. I needed to let him go Jamie, I couldn't do that around people. I needed a safe place. A place that I can go to that no one even you knows about.

Tommy felt his eye start to blur. She had destroyed this amazing girl that he came to know over the past two years. She had never given up on him, not once. Even after everything she had kept her faith in him. She was the only one to do that. He had lost _his girl_. Yes. Jude was his and his whole heart knew it. She was it and he had lost the best thing that ever happened to him. Tommy slowly retreated from the door so that no one would see him as a tear fell down his cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

I want to thank peebs1992 ISana55 for their reviews! I really appreciate the time you took to review my story and I hope you continue to read and enjoy!

As always I do not own Instant Star..

* * *

The next day no one wanted near Tommy. He was yelling at Karma left and right.

"Would you just hit the note already it isn't that difficult Karma." Tommy was seething he wanted to be with Jude. Her voice, the fun they had together, but that wouldn't happen he had messed it up. "Okay just stop, take 10 minutes and let's try this again.

Tommy left the both and was walking around G-major when he heard her voice.

"Sadie I am fine really."

"Jude I am just worried.. "

"Sadie there is nothing now, tell me how was last night."

"Jude it was Shakespeare in the park and a picnic. "

"So pretty wonderful. I am so happy for you Sadie. You deserve to be happy."

"So do you Jude."

Tommy was confused and then he realized last night, last night Sadie was with… SERIOUSLY ….

"Tommy finds Kwest in studio A. "SO were you ever gonna tell me."

"T. Man what are you.."

"SADIE really you have to go for my ex-girlfriend."

"Yeah your Ex what's the point"

"Guy Code Kwest GUY CODE"

"No you mean the Tommy Code" "You never wanted Sadie anyways so it shouldn't matter."

"You're right I didn't want Sadie, but she doesn't want you either."

"She went out with me didn't she."

"Cause she is a groupie"

"Shut up Tommy, you're just pissed cause I took Jude."

"SHUT UP you know nothing"

"It never bother you before to step over that line T. so what is different now? Pissed that your girl might fall for me now that she won't even talk to you."

"Shut your mouth"

"You know if you ever got with Jude it would be the worst thing in the world for her"

Tommy was just about to punch Kwest

"Can the cavemen shut up now so we can do a thing called our jobs. By the way Kwest.. EW"

Tommy tried not to laugh, that's my girl he thought to himself.

"Jude I didn't .. I am out for the day aren't I."

"Yes you are big brother go cool off tomorrow we will reconvene. … Jude patted him on the shoulder as he left the booth.

Tommy didn't know what to say to her.

"Hello Thomas"

"Wait what.. since when do you call me Thomas."

"Since the look of your face was a mix of I wanna kill someone and kill myself at the same time and you were acting like a 5 year old."

"Harrison your way with words its always delightful, Tommy said sarcastically

Jude smiled sarcastically and started to leave.

"Wait Jude.. I need…

"Quincy I can't talk right now. I know you want to but, I can't. Jude wouldn't look Tommy in the eye. She though has tried to get rid of the feelings still had them. Just being in his presence she could feel her heart beat quicken and palms start to sweat.

With that Jude walked away leaving a speechless Tommy.

What is up with that girl Tommy thought to himself. Why won't she look at me.

* * *

Jude was sitting in the Chrome Cat. No one knew that she bought it. Well she practically bought the whole building. She wanted to give these spaces to people who loved music but didn't want companies like G-major taking over their lives.

This space was going to be her recording studio one day. She felt it.

Jude didn't know what to think about the argument she heard today between Kwest and Tommy. As much as she didn't want to miss him… she did miss Tommy they made amazing music together and she always loved being around him. But, she needed time to build the wall, a wall around her heart so he couldn't break it anymore. The next time it broke she wasn't sure that she could handle it.

* * *

"Hey Kwest I thought you and Jude were recording" said Sadie

"There were some Tommy troubles."

"Troubles I almost decked your man here. Next time hopefully I will."

Sadie looked at Tommy in horror, he knew about them.

"What the crap T. come on. You know I would never go for her she is like my little sister."

"I just want her back, I am supposed to be working with her. This is her last album her Kwest."

"Man, I know this but you don't know what it was like when you left man. You should have called answered you phone something."

"I know this okay"

"What's all this about my sister." Sadie was very confused at this conversation.

"Look I need you to tell me where she would go. I need to talk to her…PLEASE Sadie."

"Wow, you really love her don't you. I mean I saw it when we were dating but, your slowly breaking inside. I see it in your eyes."

"I… Sadie I don't know.. what … I mean.. how… Tommy was stammering he couldn't put together a coherent sentence to save his life.

"Tommy before you go and talk to my sister you need to figure out what you feel. Because if you hurt her another time, I …" Sadie's voice was cracking… Kwest pull Sadie to his side to help calm her down. "I just don't know if she can take it okay."

"Would someone tell me what the hell happened while I was gone."

"T. we can't tell you… that's her story… one that no one knows the whole story to… except for maybe Mason."

"Mason, why would he know."

"T. like I said you will have to talk to her. Not our story to tell." Kwest then along with Sadie took off to go home.

Tommy didn't like the way this sounded. He had this gut feeling that something bad went down; very, very bad.

* * *

It was a late night for Tommy again in the studio. Just like the night before he heard a voice in particular her voice.

Don't you Dare – Take 1 Jude said as she hit the record button.

_Dark cloud moving in_

_Just one fall of rain_

_Would wash away_

_Wash away the pain_

**Tommy saw that she was engrossed in the song like she normally would be. He sunk into the booth and started messing with the levels. This song was beautiful. He could hear all the pain and hope in her voice. **

_Just one ray of sun, to warm my skin_

_Rid me of the cold you're drowning_

_I could say that I don't care_

_But the truth is I'd follow you anywhere_

_I've been waiting such a long, long time_

_Don't you dare change your mind_

_Seems so close to me but_

_ still beyond my reach _

_Calling me and playing hide and seek_

_Look behind that door _

_I'm the one you been searching for and _

_I'm not a little girl anymore_

**Tommy started to have pictures of the past two years of him and Jude flash through his mind. He remembered that first kiss. Her 16****th**** birthday she was just so upset and so wrong. She was saying that no one wanted her. He did, he so did but, she was 16, his artist. But, in that moment she was the girl he had fell for. **

_I could say that I don't care_

_But the truth is I'd follow you anywhere_

_I've been waiting such a long, long time_

_Don't you dare change your mind_

_Don't wander round looking_

_For someone to replace me_

_Don't wander round wasting_

_The rest of your life_

_Don't wander round waiting_

_For someone else to save you_

_And don't you make the same mistake twice_

**Flashes of moments when it would just be them and in the quiet moments he was so happy. He remembers the day she changed her hair. His breath was caught in his throat. He had missed her while she was on tour so much. He wanted her there, her presence always made him better. He remembered her 17****th**** birthday and them stuck in Chrome Cat. That night had been amazing. She started to believe in him again. He needed that, he was miserable without her. He held her as she fell asleep, and waking up to her he could believe it. He wanted to kiss her, he was going to.**

_I could say that I don't care_

_But the truth is I'd follow you anywhere_

_I've been waiting such a long, long time_

_Don't you dare change your mind_

**Then White Lines popped in his head. No one had ever written such a beautiful song for him before and that kiss. She couldn't Jude out of his system and he didn't want to. She got him like no one ever has. She respected him but challenged him. She just made him better. How could he not see this, he knew he couldn't deny it any longer. He loved her. He wanted her. **

_I could say that I don't care_

_But the truth I'd follow you_

_I've been waiting such a long, long time_

_Don't you dare change your mind_

_Don't you dare change your mind_

_Don't you dare change your mind_

The music faded Tommy stared at Jude and watched as she let the music consume her. Slowly she opened her eyes.

Jude jumped slightly scared and breathlessly said, "Tommy."

Tommy got up and walked into the studio area. "Jude…"

He couldn't take it he needed her, needed her right now. Tommy walked up to her grabbed her by the waist and kissed her with everything that he had. Sparks few instantly. Tommy thought that his whole body was tingling. Jude finally started to respond to the kiss. Matching Tommy's need to hers.

Jude was feeling pure bliss. The man she was in love with was finally kissing her, and it wasn't your normal kiss. This kiss was a gut wrenching needy kiss. Tommy was pressing her against him as if his life depended on it.

Reality of what was happening hit Jude like a ton of bricks and she backed away from Tommy.

"No..no..no"

"Jude" Tommy said breathlessly. "I have to tell you something" He tried grabbing her hand but just backed away. "Jude..please" Tears were forming in Tommy's eyes.

"Why.. why did you just do that"

"I.. I needed to… "

"What"

"Jude you have to understand"

"Did it mean anything or were you just caught up in the moment again"

"Jude come-on"

"No, Tommy tell me" Jude's voice was cracking and tears were falling down her face.

"Jude I …." Tommy didn't know what to say. It was like he didn't know how to speak. Every time he tried nothing happened.

" GOD YOU CAN'T JUST KISS ME I WANT, NO I NEED TO GET OVER YOU." Jude screamed.

"BUT I DON"T WANT YOU TOO." Tommy screamed out of anger. Not anger at Jude but at the situation."

"Well Quincy to bad, you taught me we don't always get what we want now do we. This thing between you and I has to end. I can't take it anymore. All you ever do is push, and pull. You push me away and the pull me right back in. It is like it is a game with you. Let's see how messed up I can make Harrison. But, I am not playing this time Quincy, instead I am leaving this time.

Jude then hurried out of the studio and Gmajor to crawl away where no one could find her. She finally let him go. Her heart was breaking all over again.

Tommy still stood there staring at the spot Jude had recently departed from. He couldn't wrap his mind over anything that just happened_. "I'm leaving this time"_ kept repeating in his head. Then he whispered something that shocked him to his core. "_But, I Love You_" That's when it hit Tommy. He lost her. He lost the only girl that really got him, that knew him inside and out, that loved him for Tom Quincy not Little Tommy Q. He backed up to the studio wall and slid down to the floor. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them tightly as the gut wrenching sobs took over his body.


	5. Chapter 5

Kwest strolled into studio A that morning and realized the board was still on. "I'm gonna kill that girl I told her to remember to turn it off" he said to himself. Then he thought he heard a noise from the studio…

He walked into the studio and froze. Kwest had known Tommy for many, many years. Over time he has known him he has ever seen him look like this once.

"Tommy…T…What's wrong…"

Tommy was still sitting in the same position as he was last night. He hadn't moved, and he hadn't stopped the tears either.

"I really did this time Kwest I… broke her… I just miss her… she's gone…. She hates me,"

"T. Man what are you talking about?"

"Jude, last night… I couldn't help it I heard her singing and I had to listen… I got caught up.. I realized that I …Tommy swallowed hard…I kissed her.. God Kwest it felt like nothing before.. but …she wants to get over me Kwest…. I lost her…

Kwest just looked at his broken friend and felt a pang of guilt. He knew that Jude and Tommy had a connection, but he didn't know it was like this.

"I love her"

"I know you do man I know you do… she loves you too, she is just scared to let you in man. You left and some stuff went down, Jude was practically on her own, and yeah.

"What happened that was so bad" Tommy started to control the sobs to a dull hiccup.

"T. it isn't my story to tell, just know that while you were gone some stuff happened. Stuff that if you were here she would have talked to you about, but… she just needs time Tommy. She will come around.

* * *

The next day business seemed usual. The SME boys were running around the studio goofing off, Tommy was in Studio B working on Karma's new single. Kwest was at hospitality making a sandwich waiting for Jude to show up.

"Hey babe Jude not here yet?"

"No, and if she doesn't get here soon Darris is gonna flip out."

"Well she wasn't at home last night or morning so I just figured she as at the rehearsal space. Let me go ask Speid really quick" Sadie said nonchalantly.

"Wait she wasn't at home yesterday, at all"

"Kwest don't worry, she called and just said she couldn't come home that she needed to think, that's the phone call I got last night out our date. Which was wonderful by the way, the boat was amazing. Babe don't worry you know Jude is always late she will be here. Babe gotta get back to work." Sadie kissed Kwest on the check and then left to go back to her desk.

Kwest was worried though; by the way he had found Tommy he knew Jude wouldn't have been any 'better. "Speid, have you seen Jude, she said she was at the rehearsal space."

"Hey Mr. Producer Man, nah haven't seen dude, she wasn't at the rehearsal space either, We just came from there."

Kwest didn't know what to do. He didn't want to worry anyone. Sadie was probably right she will turn up. She might have just gone to Jamie's house. Though he had this gut feeling that she wasn't there either. Kwest knew he had to do something before everyone realized she was gone again. No one knew where she would go but, he knew one person who might.

"Hey T. how you doing?"

Tommy turned around and saw Kwest a slight smile came on his face. "Hey I'm okay.. this single is driving me nuts can't figure out what's wrong."

"Need help?"

Tommy looked skeptical, he had taught Kwest everything and he wasn't sure. "Sure I guess" Tommy sighed.

"So T… I have to ask you something and I don't want you to worry, but I just need you to think for me."

"This song is gonna drive me nuts."

"Yeah man I can't figure it out either." Kwest sighed he knew Tommy would be focused on the song until it was finished. Asking him a question about Jude would have to wait a little.

For about 15 minutes the boys tired everything they could think of and it still wasn't working.

"Man what is with this song" said Kwest

"You should have been here when she was recording it… it made me miss my days…

Tommy was suddenly cut off "you should drop out the back beat during the chorus. It is off beat a little bit"

Both boys jumped scared at the person who just interrupted their conversation.

"What don't look at me like that two years of watching both of you behind the board I was bound to learn something. Sorry I am late Kwest was working on a new song and got really wrapped up in it. I'll see you in Studio A" Jude then walked out leaving two stunned men.

Tommy did what Jude said… "She is a genius."

"Sure T.. Sure".. Kwest was still stunned; he didn't know what to say. He knew he was gonna have to talk to her. He needed to find out where this place was that she went. He wasn't gonna let Jude hide out anymore. She needed to let one person know where this "Thinking place" was. To many people worry about her for no one to know about it.

* * *

"So, you got a new song?"

"Yup! I do and it's ready to record if you want"

"Jude, can you give me a straight answer?"

"What are you talking about Kwest?"

"Where were you, Sadie said you never came home, Speid didn't see you at the rehersal space, I'm sure you were not with Jamie. Where were you."

"Kwest come on. It's not important."

"NOT IMPORANT, JUDE YOU ARE MY ARTIST I NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU WERE"

"No you don't! I am safe where I was, was not dangerous so just chill okay!"

"Jude, you need to let someone know where this place is"

"Kwest I don't want to fight please just let me have one place. It is a place where I can let loose, find me, find my music, please."

"NO JUDE TELL ME, it is not safe or fair to anyone of the people that care about you for you to run off and not tell anyone where you are."

_Tommy had been walking by the studio when he heard yelling, he stopped to listen just thinking that it was Jude on one of her diva kicks._

"Don't yell at me for running off"

"JUDE that's what you did, do you know how worried we were the last time.

"Kwest Stop"

"NO DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SADIE WASHOW WORRIED I WAS. I MEAN THE FIRST TIME YOU."

"DON'T YOU DARE BRING THAT UP.

Tommy didn't know what was going on but he didn't like how Kwest was pushing Jude.

"BRING THAT UP IT IS WHAT STARTED THIS WHOLE RUN AWAY WHEN THINGS GET HARD ACT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING."

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED SO SHUT UP" tears were now running down Jude's face. She didn't like talking about what happened. She didn't want to think about what happened. What truly happened that night when Tommy left, only one other person knew and she wanted to keep it that way.

"OH BUT I THINK I DO JUDE.. SADIE TOLD ME THAT.."

"That's enough" a voice growled from the corner. "You need to stop talking to her like that"

"Stay out of this Tommy, she needs to realize what she is doing is wrong, she can keep taking off and not telling anyone."

"But, you need to talk to her correctly and you are not, I am not going to sit here and let you talk to her that way Kwest, I don't care what she did."

Jude saw this as an opening and left the studio, she wanted to get away again. She didn't want to hurt anyone by hiding out at her spot she just needed the outside world to disappear for a little bit. She needed to take control again. Kissing Tommy was something magical, she still could feel the kiss, but she didn't want to. He had hurt her so many times. She didn't want to trust him that way again. It was too easy to let him back in without a second thought. She needed to keep herself and those feelings locked away.

"T. Man you don't understand."

"NO, you don't you treat her like that you are gonna push her away, you gonna make her not trust you, she won't talk to you if you do this."

"What just like you."

"Kwest just calm down,"

"Calm down, you have no idea what went on while you were gone. NO idea what went on with us here when she was missing. She can't just keep leaving like that it is not fair to Sadie."

"Is all you think about is Sadie, maybe Jude needed to get away artist are like that need to get their feelings out without someone interrupting them. I am taking a line from Jude and I am not going to get in a fight with you. As you can see you made your artist leave."

"That's right T. she is my artist, so don't go all high and mighty like you know what is going on."

"She might be your artist, but she is my girl and whether or not she or I like it, I do know her better than anyone just like she knows me." Tommy then left the studio and Gmajor he had somewhere he needed to be.


	6. Chapter 6

I just want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story. It really pushes me to write more with such great readers such as yourselves. I am normally a person who wants the music in the fics to be just from the show but i thought this song fit perfectly with where I want the story to go. I know there isn't a lot of Jommy yet but, there will be. I felt that the show never showed how angry or upset Jude was when Tommy left her the way he did.

I am sorry that this chapter is short I am getting writers block and I don't know what to do. If you have any suggestions let me know! hope everyone is having a great holiday season!

I do not own Instant Star.

* * *

" You have cleaned the place up nice"

"What the… Tommy. How did you … No one knows.."

"You forget we get each other… I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away."

"Tommy I just want to be by myself so please just leave and don't tell anyone about this place okay."

"Jude I need to talk to you … please… I need to explain"

"Tommy I don't wanna know, I can't know, I can't let you…."

Tommy started walking towards Jude, Jude saw this and started to back up."

"Jude please …

"Tommy I can't do this, please just leave." There were tears in Jude's eyes. She didn't want this, she didn't want him here. He was making this too hard. She needed to get over him, over the heartbreak. He was never going to love her the way she loved him.

"Jude.." Tommy said with a husky voice. At this point Jude was up against the wall and Tommy was a few feet away closing in. "You need to listen, I never meant to hurt you. I just had stuff to do, for Darris, He told me to leave."

Jude was trying to look anywhere but Tommy she knew that if she would look in his eyes all the walls she has tried to build would be gone.

"Jude please . Just look at me please" . Tommy's voice has trembling… he didn't know what to do he need her to see how much he meant what he said.

Jude slowly through her eye lashes looked at Tommy. Jude gasped at what she was, tears were beginning to fall from his eyes. The deep blue orbs were mixed with longing, hurt, regret, passion, and some other emotions she couldn't place. Tommy had Jude trapped against the hall, his hands on either side of her blocking her from running away.

"Tommy…" Jude whispered. "I can't let you in.. I can't keep doing this to myself. When you left…" Tears were falling from Jude eyes.

"Please don't cry…" Tommy whispered

"Tommy please just leave…"

"I can't"

"Why"

"Because I need you to understand, I need you to know I never meant to hurt you. "

"Tommy at any point you could have called, answered your phone, emailed me back, wrote. Why didn't you."

"I… I just couldn't."

"That makes no sense." Jude was angry now. With all the force she could put forth she shoved her arms into Tommy's chest to get him to give her space.

"Jude"

"No" Jude had started to gather her things. "You don't get to come into this place, this place that I have made, a place where I could get away, and bring all these feeling up and not tell me the truth. You said he couldn't that's not a reason Tommy that's an excuse and I'm tired of everyone's excuses. " Jude said angrily. "Now, I would appreciate if you didn't tell anyone about me being here, and for you never to come back her. I at least deserve that much." With that Jude left the room and the building.

Tommy stood there shocked that isn't how he wanted it to go. He wanted to tell her he couldn't talk to her cause one word from her, one time listening to any message she left and he would have said screw Darris and would be on his way back home to her.

Jude was recording a new song she wrote the night before. She didn't want anyone to hear it yet so she told Kwest to wait a little before she went into studio B.

Slow acoustic melody came from Jude's guitar. She closed her eyes and let the music consume her.

_You said one day we'd own this town _

_build us a house right up from the ground _

_you said forever had nothing on us _

_just lay it all out on the table and trust _

_You don't know how _

_you let me down _

_you gave me up _

_so I call your bluff _

Kwest saw from the lobby talking to Saide and Tommy. "What is she doing, she told me she wasn't going to record"

The three of them rushed went into the booth. They were frozen in their spots when they started listening, the three of them couldn't look away. The pain in her voice was easy to see. They saw tears were freely falling down her face.

"I have never heard her… "

"SHH" Sadie was cut off by both Kwest and Tommy.

_What happens between beginning and end _

_that takes us to strangers from the best of friends _

_thinking about what might have gone wrong _

_could I have avoided this mess all along? _

_I never make _

_the same mistakes _

_you won't give enough _

_so I call your bluff _

This time Darris came into the booth, what is going on you three.. he heard her voice and was mesmerized as well. This song was going to be a hit, he could feel it. He never heard this much emotion from Jude, except from maybe the song Skin, but this was different. It was like she was giving everything she had here, no holding back at all.

_This heart, it sinks like a stone _

_just rip it all out and let it bleed all alone _

_just let it go _

_You don't know how _

_you let me down _

_so I'm giving you up _

_I call your bluff_

As the song came to an end everyone stood there speechless. Jude sat there with her eyes closed. She didn't want to open her eyes. She had felt eyes on her. She knew that someone was watching her and she just wanted them to go away. Jude slowly opened up her eyes not only see one person but many people. Everyone had tears in their eye, especially one blue-eyed ex boy bander.

Tommy didn't know what to do. How could she believe he didn't care about her. How was he supposed to tell her? She won't let him talk; she won't let him near her. He was tired of trying and getting nowhere with Jude. He was growing frustrated. If she wouldn't talk to him, then he was gonna make her talk. He was tired of this dance they kept doing. After finally admitting how he felt about Jude, he wasn't going to give her up without a fight.

Jude had gasped when she saw everyone. Everyone was staring at her and it made her feel uncomfortable. _Was it a bad song? Why are they are looking at me like that _thought Jude.

"Was it that bad guys" Jude said quietly.

No one said anything they were still mesmerized by Jude's voice.

Jude doesn't know what to do so she slowly puts down her guitar and leaves the studio…and heads towards the back ally. Everyone was jolted back to reality when they hear the studio door close.

"Wow… T. you really screwed her up didn't you."

"Shut up Kwest"

"Does anyone know where Jude went" Sadie question.

Everyone hurried out of the booth to look for Jude. "Why she take off like that, the song was amazing."

"Darris…Maybe it's because all you just stood there after she was done. She asked if you liked it."

"Jamie what are you talking about."

"All of you stood there when she finally was done with the song and opened her eyes. She left the stood and ran into me. She told me what happened and left."

"You let her leave Andrews…" Tommy said with anger.

"Chill Quincy, I doubt she is going to get far she said she was just going to go home or the rehearsal space."

"Kwest call your girl and make sure she is in here tomorrow and mix that single tonight. I want it on my desk by the end of the day tomorrow."

"Sure D…"

Tommy was more than angry.. _his girl_ Jude was not Kwest's girl. She never would be. Jude was his and he was determined to fix it so that they could finally be together. He was finally ready to be with her, finally able to admit his feeling, and he wasn't going down without a fight. He needed to think up a plan and quick.

* * *

The song was "Call my Bluff" by Lauren Zettler


End file.
